Dreams and more

I had the weirdest dream this afternoon. I have to take down, or else it will fade as we speak. There was once, I woke up with a very vivid and disturbing dream. And the more I tried to recap it, the more it slipped from my fingers. I get such a helpless defeated feeling when my dreams suddenly disappear into thin air, maybe because they feel very personal. Plus, it's interesting to dissect dreams to decipher if they give you a glimpse into something that you haven't been able to work out when you are lucid.

My dream in the afternoon was about New York. I was in New York, with my dad. And we were headed for ground zero. Just as I hopped into the cab, I noticed that he disappeared. But I figured he was around the corner, so I waited for the cab to crawl a little distance before I got out. There was an interruption in my train of thought as I saw the price on the taxi meter, stating that it was 8 freaking bucks for such a short ride down the small road. Try as I could, I couldn't find my dad anywhere at all. He didn't even respond to any phone calls. As I trekked up and down, I started to recognise quite a few faces... faces that I've seen in school before, faces that I once knew, especially the ones from hall, but they were faces that have disappeared from my life for quite a while now. I probably wouldn't even think of them usually. It was at the moment when I want to head a different direction to look for my dad, after talking to Elliot(a hall friend) that I woke up with a start. It was a very unsatisfying dream, a feeling of complete failure. But it's the shitty dreams that make you happy to be awake.

And then there are those dreams that make you so happy when you are immersed in it. But when you awake from that tranquil slumber, you realise with a start that you are back in the real world. Now that's depressing. I've had so many of those. Maybe it's a sign that I have to take some things into my hands, instead of letting God make fate and letting fate change things. I react to my environment more than I let up. This feeling of being out of control has been happening for too long. But what can I do about it?