Thursday, September 29, 2005

Food shows

I’m such a sucker for food documentaries and shows featuring celebrity chefs. Presently I’m watching Nigella as I am typing. And it’s making me drool non-stop. Even though I just went to Blooie’s. Even though I just had a whole bowl of fruit. And this is despite the flu that is threatening…

Nigella is preparing some cold soba noodles now. And it’s mixed with spring onions and sesame seeds. That’s the thing. Everything she makes looks deceptively simple, so much so you think you can manage it yourself. And once you open your horizons to the possibility of making the dish yourself, you can’t stop thinking about it, till you actually try the recipe out. Arrggh. I will have cold soba noodles on my mind for a very long time. Now she is making a meringue dessert involving fresh raspberries and tons of egg white whisking. This is doable too. Thankfully fresh raspberries are less attainable, what with the cost and the lack of gourmet cold storages in town. And thankfully I’m not so much of a meringue fan. Otherwise, I’m marching myself into a Jason’s and making me some of that tomorrow… Oh man, as I speak, she is pouring in shavings of dark chocolate and thick cocoa. I must move away from the TV.

Nigella isn’t even my favourite chef. I like Jamie Oliver too. He’s endearing, in a messy boyish way. He concocts some honestly disturbing dishes sometimes. Fruit and chocolate don’t always go well… But other than the occasional faux pas, he’s pretty good with his use of herbs. And he makes the most use of the grill. It makes me one to go out, buy a grill and grill me some garlic bread and steak. NOW. Slurp. Jamie Oliver has a way with shops. Before he starts the actual cooking, he’d go buy his ingredients. He’d step into the most delightful chocolate shop, where they actually bother to distinguish between the fine Valhornas and the shabbier cooking cocoa, where they present them in thick industrial bars, and they discuss the different purities and percentages with such precision that it makes you want to go to the store and peruse each shelf. The cheese shops he visits are also tempting. Especially when they mix some cheese on the spot. Haiz.

Anthony Bourdain… This is one man I admire. I like his wit(or at least, the wit that his persona on tv has) I understand that this wit is the culmination of many a witty comedic writer, but the whole show is delivered with panache. And a passion for good food, whether cheap or fine. This is one skinny man, but he seems to be able to go on and on and on… … I take my hat off to him. I really loved the episodes where he visits the places I've already visited myself, like the Taukiji fish market in Tokyo, the random tapas bars in Barcelona, and even the bars in New York.

I'm not so much a Chinese food fan, so no Martin Yan for me. Plus, I think part of the lure is the novelty. I get to see my mum cook anytime I want. I don't need to watch Martin Yan play with his knives.

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Busy day

It's been a heck of a tiring day. Woke up after 5 hrs of sleep to go jogging at ECP. I went jogging a total of 20km, twice along the length of ECP. Then I rushed home, changed, mailed my mentor, rushed down to Orchard to meet my sister for girls' bonding session... We went to Marmalade Pantry, and then we walked the WHOLE of Far East Plaza. And Taka. Then I rushed home, changed my shoes and went back to Plaza Sing to meet Zach for dinner and then together, we met up with Choi Ying for Lindy hop at YMCA. It doesn't sound like a lot, but I'm dead beat...

Saturday, September 24, 2005

Lost!!!

Charlie
You scored 65% kindness, 39% courage, 47% seedy past, and 58% secretiveness!

"Hmm.
I have this dream. I'm driving a bus. And my teeth start falling out.
My mum is in the back. Eating biscuits. Everything smells of bacon.
It's weird. 'Course then I wake up screaming."



You are Charlie. More specifically, you are Charlie when he was still
dealing with his heroin addiction. You're a kind person, but your seedy
past and intense secretiveness are hurting you. You're not one of the
bravest guys on the island, but you will defend what is closest to you
without fail. You'll be okay in the end because let's not forget,
you're a bloody rock god!



My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 50% on kindness
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 54% on courage
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 68% on seedy past
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 63% on secretiveness
Link: The Which Lost Character Are You Test written by ack_attack on OkCupid Free Online Dating

DON'T WATCH NIGHTWATCH

Nightwatch is by far the worst movie I have ever seen. I am kicking myself for wasting 2 perfectly good hours on a Friday night watching it. Honestly, I had no idea what I was getting myself into, but constantly throughout the show, I was either laughing or looking at my watch or looking at the EXIT sign very longingly. And fyi, it was supposed to be a HORROR show. Normally, horror movies scare me to bits. But the fact that I could be bored and even incredulous was testament to how bad it can get.

It is about the battle between light and dark, except it's not so much a morality divide between the two. They just happen to be on two opposing teams. And people are given the choice as to which team they prefer to be on. There are men who are called Others, who can see the forces at work. The dark forces are run by vampires. The light are run by the Nightwatchers.

The first scene featured these 2 Viking-looking armies, togged in mail and armour and riding horses, standing at a bridge, ready for battle. There was a voiceover of how the battles of yore took place, but that nowadays, no longer did the two armies fight, but that people were given the choice to choose which team to follow. Fast forward to the present in Moscow. A man who had recently been cuckolded by his wife decides to seek revenge by engaging a voodoo-ist, except that she was a croaky-voiced Russian woman. Turns out he was an Other, and he chose the side of the Light. At this point, none of us knew what was going on still. The movie is hazy, the pacing bad, and random characters are introduced intermittently with no real purpose for the plot. Hello, what was the point of introducing Olga the Owl, who later metamorphosed into a woman. She wasn't even present in the second half of the movie. And she didn't help him rid the world of the Vortex, which signifies that the battle of light and dark would start again. Also, what was the point of featuring the Tiger and Bear(2 Nightwatchers) suddenly making out??? And there is this weird truck that keeps zooming from point A to B in the attempt to help the protaganist... and it operates on rocket fuel apparently, because jet streams keep shooting out from the exhaust pipes! Add to that the disturbing dramatic music that plays nonstop, even when there is no need to create any climax. Oh, and the vortex is a woman who is cursed and she signifies the start of death and destruction in the world. That one was a total let-down, a very very anti-climax moment.

I feel like puking just thinking about the movie. The music was bad, the pacing was bad, the directing was shitty and the acting was so OTT. The people were ugly, the characters were useless... how did it even get out from Russia? Aren't the Russians embarrassed to be seen producing some crap like that??? I need some cake now to comfort myself... The only light at the end of the dark tunnel(pun intended) was that we could jibe about the movie and ridicule it to no end.

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Yay I can finally check off my to-do list. I had a picnic at Fort Canning on Wednesday. I brought my tiramisu and some sardine curry puffs. We settled on a spot right in the centre of a large tiled expanse and we laid our checked cloth and placed all our food there. Mark's wraps were really really good. It's a great and novel idea to put caramelised apples into the mix, as it contrasts nicely with the saltiness of the ham. And he made them himself! I really have to get funky and experimental when it comes to recipes. That is truly the mark of a good chef. We had a great time just talking and eating and it really helped that the weather that day was gd. The trees gave us shade too, but after some time, little seeds or fruit started falling like rain and that was a bit distracting.

We set off for MINDS cafe at Prinsep St to play some board games. How long has it been since I dragged out my monopoly and cluedo!? Too long. I really loved monopoly. Could play it for hours on end. But we tried something different today. No std board game for us. Played a game called Settlers of Kazan. Each player must try to build roads and cities and settlements, which will accumulate points. The winner is the one to reach 13 points first. And you can only build the roads and cities if you have the materials to build it, like brick and timber or wheat. The materials are cards that you receive throughout the game. I felt really stupid playing the game. Maybe I'm a slow learner or I pick things up fast. Either that or my luck was just plain bad. I had the least cities. Paul won the game, but then his mind is fast. So I felt quite small at the end of the game! Hmmph.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Tiramisu

Yes, I finally made attempted to recreate the heavenly tiramisu that M made at the potluck at Priya's house. I don't know where she got the recipe from but it was so good... the consistency of the cream and the proportion of cream to sponge fingers was just right. But it was too long ago for me to compare mine to hers. Mine was ok, but I thought it was a tad watery. I hate to modify the recipe when I realised that there just wasn't enough marsala wine mixture to dip the sponge fingers in...

See, tiramisu goes like this: you have to make the sponge layer using sponge fingers dipped in marsala wine, coffee powder, sugar and water... And then there is another layer consistent of beaten egg and mascarpone cheese. It's simple, really. And then the layers have to be alternated in a deep dish. The painful part about making this is that the marsala wine and the cheese cost a bomb. For two servings, it would cost a whopping 60 bucks, so this is probably the last time I make it. And it just isn't worth making it again, since the novelty of having tried it has passed. Thankfully, D came over to make it together, so we could split the cost. And it certainly made cooking that much more fun!

I'll be bringing some of it to the VCF potluck tomorrow. Hope they like it...

Sunday, September 18, 2005

Freedom of the Press

I cannot stand how no one, not even competent journalists, can come up with the definitive answer on how freedom of speech should work in Singapore. I am speaking of the article in the Straits Times(Saturday 17 Sep). We speak of having different avenues to vent our feelings and air our opinions. Yet, even we have a quantitative increase in avenues, qualitatively, not much has changed. All these different avenues come with very restricted OB markers. Or, they require permits. PERMITS. There is no sense to a rally or protest that requires a permit because 1) it loses all spontaneity and 2) the application would be rejected anyway, and one one would dare proceed without approval.

I rant, like many other Singaporeans. Catherine Lim is a prime example of a Singaporean who tried to express an independent view, only to be admonished and told to join a political party before doing so. This directly contrasts the earnest hopeful view of the journalist in the papers today.

While the article also discusses the proliferation in avenues, like blogs and online forums, it fails to tell people how not to tread out of these OB markers that bind us. There is no black and white, everything is up to one's discretion. Even the vague suggestions given by the writer show how subjective this exercise is. For eg, the writer suggests that applications to stage a mass gathering must be made. Approval is given, rightly so, for a rally to increase Aids awareness. But no approval was given to opposition members who want to make speeches at a constituency dinner!

BAH.

Friday, September 16, 2005

Cooking

Pardon me for waxing lyrical about food, but I must simply discuss my latest foray into The Cooking. It's The Cooking, not just cooking, because I so rarely do it that it has become somewhat of an event for me. On Tuesday, I tried my hand at some Round Food - Scandinavian meatballs and Falafel. Usually I bake, and my cakes and pies usually come out well. I think the secret to baking well is following recipes strictly(except to reduce or add the sugar), folding and stirring in the right manner, and possessing a good oven with even heat distribution. All these I do pretty well.

Cooking is another arena altogether. The instincts and senses and the ability to control your freaking saucepan comes into play. And my cooker doesn't seem to listen to me. I can never get the exact flame and the heat which I need. And I overadded egg to my meatballs so the mixture wasn't sticky enough to form balls. So my Scandinavian meatballs aren't meatballs anymore. They kind of went "splat" on the wok instead, to my utter dismay. And they turned out looking like tiny patties instead. They tasted quitei good, but the process of cooking it was very trying. I came out of it smelling from head to toe like the food. It made me really sick.

The falafel was more of a disappointment. It simply refused to brown. The recipe did not call for an additional layer of breadcrumbs or yolk on the surface, so when I popped it into the oil, it disintegrated! Very sad. I had such high expectations for the falafel because I remember how good they tasted overseas. Every time I think of falafel I get really high and happy because it reminds me of the good times I had overseas. I only eat them overseas cos I can't find them here very much. It's full of chickpea, fried, and the Maoz Falafel stands in Europe provide a salad bar where you can top it off with as much of your fav greens from their salad bar. I am drooling just thinking of it. I had it once in Amsterdam by the train station and another time at La Ramblas in Barcelona. I need my falafel dosage again... I'll probably have to try it again, when I start to forget how bruised my ego was after the failure.

By the way, I cannot resist mentioning how Carl's Junior makes me think of skiing. The link is very tenuous but still... The chilli cheese fries at Carl's Junior reminds me of how I love chilli cheese whenever I go to America. It's such a common dish over there. And once when I was skiing in Lake Tahoe I had the chilli cheese fries for lunch. And that was probably the best day of skiing I had, because it was my very first. Plus, the snow was so thick, powdery and soft and the day lasted long and the sky was so clear. Haiz... memories!

FRIENDS and random sitcoms

I have figured out why I like Friends more when it first started out. The first season were full of witty quips, little scenarios and hilarious soundbites. Later, bit by bit, it became more of situational comedy, where stupid things would happen to the characters and they would try to wheedle themselves out of tight situations. In the first season, the conversations the 6 of them would have were unforgettable. There was the one where they discussed the weirdest most exciting places they had sex, and then there was the one where the men made an analogy between ice cream flavours and women. Maybe it was necessary back then, to let both the different characters and the audience understand a bit more about where each of them were coming from.

It morphed very slowly. There was some sexual tension amongst the characters, because no one knew whether anyone would get together with anyone else. They were still new with one another. I remember the One with The Boobies, where Chandler chances on Rachel naked, then Rachel chances on Joey, then Joey sees Monica naked and then Monica sees Joey's father naked. That was SO GOOD. I watched that episode again and again. I was so into Friends that I went out to buy the soundtrack and the book on the making of FRIENDS. It was the highlight of my week...

Then FRIENDS took on a new flavour. The characters got more experienced, even sometimes less endearing, one prime example being Ross. He was the Mr Nice Guy, the sensitive soul who believed in true love. And then he HAD TO GO SLEEP WITH THE GIRL AT THE COPY SHOP?? And then they had to put a funny spin on his failed marriages. That ruined the character a tad for me.

It's also sad that not every dog gets his day on the show. Lisa Kudrow is such a talented actress, but she is always being sidelined because her character isn't involved with anyone else on the show. The characters with the onscreen attention are probably Ross, Rachel, Monica and Chandler, precisely because they add the romantic element with one other main character. And it really isn't fair, considering Joey and Phoebe have so much going for them, but they keep getting relegated the very one dimensional jokes and references. Esp Joey. If they were going to do a spinoff on Joey, at least try and usher in more depth as the seasons pass. Or, preferably, choose to do a spinoff on a more 3D character. Or, a character of which not much is known, like Gunther! Joey fails precisely because people know the character, but not enough to see more of him than the womanising and food-loving sides. It's sad.

I watch FRIENDS whenever I can catch it on StarWorld... and this usually means I watch it at least twice. I don't get bored watching the same eps again and again. When the last ep aired, I was watching it in US, at the moment the series closed for real. It sure made me cry.

And now, I look at the dearth of comedy. All the comedies I have loved for the last ten years have faded into the sunset: FRIENDS, Murphy Brown, Seinfeld, Just Shoot Me, Frasier, SATC... @#$$% I need to meet my weekly comedy cravings. Arrested Development is really really good, but I have a feeling it might die soon because it's not popular enough. Hey Americans, don't be stupid... It's your last chance for some good fare!!! Curb Your Enthusiasm is funny, but very frustrating(because the protagonist keeps making such a fool of himself and the people around him react against him so overtly and strongly)

Not always do I meet a crazed enough person like me who will hyperventilate while discussing sitcoms. If anyone feels this strongly too, come find me!!!
One reason why people give up is that they lose the reason for why they started out in the first place. I watched the documentary Child of Our Time, which featured a mother who stopped yelling at her child to sit still, because she cannot remember why she wanted her child to stop moving anymore. At one point, I wanted to give up on God because I stopped remembering the purpose for trusting in Him and for even believing in the first place. And then when the primary motive for the race comes rushing back, you pick up where you left off.

Sunday, September 11, 2005

Netball match!!!!

This is a week of many events. First I went to Sentosa for the first time in ages. And I tucked into good music at Wala's. And I did my first 16km run...(It'll be 20 km next week i hope!) Oh and my first manicure and pedicure! I also checked out the 6th Asian Netball Championship today. The netball girls' finals was between Malaysia and Singapore and it was held in the Toa Payoh Stadium. Can I just say that the Malaysians are the dark horses and they sure look it too. It's not their home turf and they already have that losing edge, but they aren't dressed like their counterparts man. Our uniforms are very well designed(David insists that the Singapore running down the side of the jersey is very "sexy") and look spiffy and smart. But theirs look like the Crescent girls' uniform. Yellow plain numbered jerseys and blue short skirts. Even the skirts flip differently from ours. It doesn't fall as nicely when the girls jump.

But man, those girls can jump. They sure gave our team a run for their money. And they didn't have a single import, from what I gathered. We had quite a few Caucasians playing on our team, but the whole team worked very well. Seamless passing and man can they jump! They jump out from all angles and they can reach the ball when it seems impossible. I like the Malaysian team's GS. Her aiming is almost perfect. But our GS is hotter... haha. And yes, I may be a girl but I can admire aesthetics. Plus, netball is 60% about the sport and 40% about the girls that make it up!!!

At the prize presentation ceremony, the various teams assembled at the court to receive their prizes. And I saw the TALLEST GIRL IN THE WORLD. Honestly, she was so tall that she towered over the tallest guys there. And these guys were 2m tall. I stood next to them outside the stadium before the match and they towered over the food stands and the overhanging signs already. She had the longest legs but I must say they were too long and made her appear to be standing on stilts. It is impossible to describe my amazement... and you can hear a hush and then a babble of comments from the crowd when she emerged.

Had a good time with David scouting for food although I must say that we are the WORST PEOPLE TO MAKE UP OUR MINDS. Chomp Chomp's for Round 2 was pretty good though=)

Wala's

Wala's is a place I can only go to when I'm feeling hyped up. You need a certain mood to go to Wala's. But today I was feeling WAY TOO SLACK to go. I wanted to just sit down and pig out, courtesy of my 16km run... (Actually this may just be a reason for pigging out but what the heck)

But I didn't want to drive all the way to Holland V for nothing. It may be like KTV. Inertia stops you from going because you are too lazy to sing and pick songs. But once you get started, you are on a roll. Once I get into wala's and I hear Jack sing, I know I wouldn't regret it either. The queue wasn't so bad anyway. I stepped into the entrance, only to encounter Mr Hamsup the bouncer. He stamped my hand with the chop and then he stamped it with his own brand of "hamsup-ness". Didn't let go of my hand for 3 sec then asked me how I was doing.. Yucks yucks.
Today the whole place was brimming with RJ people. RJ PE teachers were there, together with some law friends who were one year my senior and two years my senior. Jem Leong and John Yeo, Kelly and Kevin. Apparently Rai is an RJ teacher too! Stupid PE teacher stole my seat just as I was going to sit down at the recently vacated table we moved forward to occupy. When I asked him why the heck he took my chair, he gave a cheeky, "I think I'm very charming and irresistible" grin and said, "Oh I just need it". BAH. To be fair, he did return it later and even patted the seat and tried to make amends and be friendly, but too bad, damage is done! I dao-ed him like mad until I got it back.. hahaha

The songs EIC played tonight were better than the last time. They even played my dedication! Chariot by Gavin DeGraw, but they looked a bit surprised to see it, cos I think they only recently rehearsed it. I was bowled over. It was great. They also played Matchbox Twenty's Bright Lights. That one was a charming number. And tons of U2 songs and Green Day's Wake Me Up when September Ends. Yum. Yum is also a way to describe Jack. I'm in love with the way he plays his guitar and his onstage charisma. Just oozing with ACS charm.. haha. I wonder what he looks like without the stage lights and the dark ambience... And Rai's was really really good. His voice is very strong, not as nasal as Jack's, and he can pull of Damien Rice's Blower's Daughter very well, cos it can go all soft and soothing and yet strong and masculine in a matter of 2 notes. I have to go to Timbre to check them out on Wednesdays...

Saturday, September 10, 2005

Training

This morning I started my marathon training... Signed up for Standard Chartered Marathon, but every time I want to step out of the house it either threatens to rain or is already raining. And it's not always the kind of rain that makes you dismiss the idea of going out. Sometimes it comes and it goes, or it drizzles lightly enough to make you ponder about whether or not to ignore the rain... The worst thing is that I have to set aside special slots of time for my training. I don't always have 3 hrs to kill at one go in the mornings or nights to do this. So I was mighty pissed.... Well, I sure got a kick of the run I did this morning - I jogged 16 km!!! That was a fine start to my training...

I jogged to MacRitchie through Braddell, past News Centre and the entrance to Braddell Hill, past Mount Alvernia Medical Centre. Then I jogged alongside the water (2.25km) which links to the route that goes to the HSBC treetop walk. I jogged to the walk, and I was sure relieved to find a water station where the rangers were situated. And then I jogged back. Jogging in the trails at McRitchie is a very slow process. I am very unsure about my footing and since my balance already sucks naturally, it was sometimes alarming when my foot didn't land properly. Thank God my feet managed to weather the trying terrain. Once I got back onto the concrete pavement outside, it was so much easier to jog faster because my feet are so used to adjusting to rougher terrain. I shall have to go to Macritchie more. Plus, the route is very VERY hilly, and at times I really wanted to walk. Heck, it can go uphill for ages, and since the trail is windy, I never knew when it would go downhill again. Yucks. BUT, good for training...

I could largely keep the momentum going, because the weather was just so good... It was windy and stayed cloudy till I finished the jog. But I know it'll be much harder if the sun were shining down. That would be very tiresome. At many times throughout the jog I found myself craving crisp cool dry weather, and in those moments I actually envied people living in temperate countries. (Yes, I had tons of time to think about random stupid things like these)

So I think I'll just do this once a week. I don't want to push myself too much. My feet would literally cave and die. And it really drained me. I felt so tired the whole day(Admittedly I was out the rest of the day and it was a very humid day too) Let's hope my discipline and the weather keep up.

On a side note, I was in MacRitchie in the morning and in Orchard Road at 12-215. And body parts were discovered in Orchard Road at 145 and at MacRitchie at 6pm!!! Heck, I could have seen the murderer! haha... Talk about coincidence...

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Sentosa suntanning

Today Choi Ying and I went to Sentosa... There was no agenda in mind, but there was the potential of blading, tanning, just general chilling around. It's nice to have friends who are finally as slack as you.( on a side note, PLC is making me feel like I'm wasting time and draining away my youth, which could be used to better effect=) )

It may have been cloudy in the morning but it sure wasn't in the afternoon. 'Blistering heat' and 'scorching sun' are only 2 ways to describe it. You get the drift. And I realise that I really am getting old when the people around you are all enjoying THEIR school holidays and you realise that you don't see your peers around because they have MOVED ON, ie gotten a job and doing something productive... Haha. When I'm slack, I slack all the way. When I work hard, I go into overdrive. Must pull myself out of this extreme mentality. What did they say about the Balanced Lifestyle?

We sat in the sun for about 2 hrs. We just sat and talked and tanned. The only movements were when we occasionally flipped over to even it out. It really creates deja vu, of another time when I was here with other people, people who are either busy or just not interested in "ruining their skin and getting skin cancer"(this is obviously ad verbatim from a disinterested friend)...

Tanjong Beach looks very different. It doesn't look as nice as I remembered, but thankfully it was a relatively empty beach this afternoon, so it was possible to comb a spot which had a good radius of privacy. There was a whole bunch of sec sch boys on some class outing next to us, but they provided entertainment more than act as an unwelcome intrusion. The only grumble about this beach is that the nice toilets are long gone and have since been replaced by container toilets, probably due to some construction.

We also went to KM 8 for some juice and to use their nice deck chairs. Didn't stay very long, but it sure felt good=) Saw the 2 cutest Caucasian children toddling past us back and forth. The little 2 yr old girl had a pretty bathing suit on and a straw hat and the nicest golden curls were peeping out.

And I realise that I still wasn't the colour I wanted to be, despite sitting there for about 3 hrs.

Monday, September 05, 2005

YIKES!!!!!!!!!

For real??!


What is Your World View? (updated)
created with QuizFarm.com


Cultural Creative


81%

Postmodernist


63%

Fundamentalist


56%

Romanticist


50%

Modernist


38%

Idealist


31%

Existentialist


25%

Materialist


6%

What is Your World View? (updated)
created with QuizFarm.com



You scored as Cultural Creative. Cultural Creatives are probably the newest group to enter this realm. You are a modern thinker who tends to shy away from organized religion but still feels as if there is something greater than ourselves. You are very spiritual, even if you are not religious. Life has a meaning outside of the rational.


What is Your World View? (updated)
created with QuizFarm.com

Sunday, September 04, 2005

It's been a very eventful week. There was edudine and my sister's birthday. Oh and The Canteen. And Beat's birthday bbq. But I think there was a train of thought I was following that kind of distracted me quite a bit.

I'll have to deal with what exactly I'm thinking. I don't really know. Heck, I think other people would know better than I do what I am feeling and why I am feeling this way. Sometimes people insist that you think or you feel a certain way, as you insist vehemently that it is not so. And yet, sometimes these people turn out to be true.

So if I'm thinking a certain thing, who is to know that it is actually not really reflective of who I am and what is the truth. Or maybe, by default, I should take it that I am usually wrong about these things, because the track record seems to prove it.

I'm confused. And this lack of self-awareness is proving very tiring. I wish someone could come and tell me all the answers. To explain to me what I should do and why I am driving myself crazy with all these random thoughts. Anyone who knows me well enough to advise me thus put your hands up.

I also wish I had a mind-reading machine. That would help solve some problems.