Marathon?

I'm contemplating whether to join the Standard Chartered Marathon again. The thought process goes like this:

1) Standard Chartered, ya?
2) Which category? 21 or 42.195?
3) If I do 21, it feels somewhat anticlimax. If I do 42.195, I better get some good training, or else I'd DIE.
4) I don't have time I don't have time I don't have time.
5) I will have to wake up REALLY EARLY on saturdays.

I just took a look at D's timetable, snitched off the standard chartered website, and I completely freak out. It means u have to run practically everyday. Inside I laugh. No, actually I laugh out loud. What are the odds of completing such a routine? Can D do it? (hurhurhur)

If I do 42.195, I must clock in a good time. My time last year was 5h 18min, which wasn't too bad for me. So if I get a time which is way worse this year, that would completely suck and drain all the satisfaction I got from marathon 2005. My ego is v v big. OK, so maybe the answer is: no 42.195. But maybe 21km?

Hmm, maybe I should sign up for AHM first. But AHM? Do I have enough fitness to do AHM at a proficient pace now? (Inside I yell, NO. But my ego says YES)

OK, my ego wins. I'll do AHM. Think about standard chartered tomorrow.

Sigh. I don't understand how, no matter how old I get, no matter how my outlook changes, and no matter how my interactions and my social circle expands and diversifies, the same problems will continue to plague me. People will still react towards u in the same way. No matter how much u think you have changed. Confidence, more developed opinions, changed perspectives, a more varied lifestyle, all comes down to nothing...

I've created some new friendships over the past few years. Some have fizzled; some have bloomed; others were on the verge of being a nice comfortable friendship. And then one day it just... disappears? How many have there been that just went on the same path? Am I overcomplicating things? I don't know why this is bugging me so much.

I'm back. It's been a long while, but I think the simple word, "WORK", vindicates me. It's been quite harrowing adjusting to my new responsibilities. People management, both upper and lower tier management, is a drain in itself. Not to mention, obligations to the client, what to do and what not to do, the PRs of the legal profession. I'm REALLY TIRED!!!

But I love my weekends. I'll willingly slog to the bone on weekdays in order to get my saturdays and sundays free, to go out and pretend that I have an alternate life, with alternate friends, and I don't even have to think about the office and my files, where I can become me again. I find myself behaving differently, because I have to assume a more assertive persona, a more demanding more aggressive stance. No one must know how much experience I actually have. And what better way to cover this up by not asking the first questions that come to my head; and to respond with full confidence although sometimes I myself am in doubt. Yes, I'm a fraudster. But thank God any mistakes were reparable. And as my seniors say, we all make boo boos.

Back to the weekends. Loved the lazy breakfast at Choupinette with Lee Si, and the gourmet deli shopping, zipping into Cellar Door and Culina, buying atas cheese and pestos, buying the mini chocolat noir tarts that I so loved in France. Loved the good old zi char at that place near Rail Mall, loved the wine place with all that wine sampling and the Italian deli and good old flowing conversation...

Loved the time spent with Lynn and the bridal gown shopping, loved the chalet and that silly but oh-so-fun Murderer game, plus supper. Loved sleeping at 6am and waking up at 1pm(deja vu, I felt like I was back in hall).

I'm a planner. I can't help it. I already planned my next Friday and Saturday. It's a good plan, and hopefully it'll get executed, unlike my Wine Network plans last saturday that got cancelled for Le P'tit Breton. OK, not being atas here, but the crepes were really good!! Brings back wonderful (but disgusting memories for a certain travel mate) memories wolfing down nutella crepe after nutella crepe (and the odd savoury mushroom one) in Paris 2 yrs ago!!!