Just got back from the Dick Lee concert. It's refreshing to watch a 50 year old man prance and perform with so much spunk and energy. And it's uplifting to know there's a 14 year old boy named Nathan who could be our answer to Buble and Cullum. His voice is silky smooth and deep. Or maybe it's just the song. Who could do Fly Me To The Moon badly? But darn, so many good lookers in the artistic circuit are gay! haha...
I decided to walk from Botanic Gardens to Orchard to run an errand and I passed the photo exhibit planted along the pedestrian walk. I wanted to just walk straight for efficiency's sake, but after some time, I just couldn't resist. These were pictures of large land masses featuring natural formations lilke hills, vistas, fjords, valleys, rivers, as well as cities... It was just so gorgeous. One picture featured a city that was cut off from the rest of the world. It was an overhead shot of a very abandoned, isolated brown mass of sand and stone. Cut off from the world - no water, electricity, even the people were missing... Other pictures featured the natural beauty of Iceland, Algeria, Jordan... There was a picture of a single acacia tree in the middle of a very parched desert, with cracks forming outward from the acacia, the dry ground being so baked that you could imagine the roots cracking into the hard ground, splitting it apart. Which was going to win, root or earth, I wondered. I wanted to be THERE, right where all the picture was taken. I have to go back and take a very slow stroll along the pedestrian walk again, to admire them once more.
I don't really understand why some of my friendships are so tenuous. Initially, it was on the cusp of something new and nice, some new level of understanding, then suddenly, all conversation stops! The person suddenly faded from my routine, to my great consternation. It seems that suddenly you realise that you didn't have very much in common after all. Either that, or the formation of what you thought was friendship wasn't friendship after all, but mere convenience. And then the person just becomes another once-friendly face. It's crazy. Is gossip the reason? Is it the speculation of others? I also wonder why I'm so bothered about this. I need to know.
Sunday, October 30, 2005
Thursday, October 27, 2005
Musings and pics
Just some random pics of the stuff I've been doing the past few weeks...
Here's David, a pretty good food companion and occasional sparklers playmate!!! We are indulging in some good old Carl's Junior's here...
I took this pic of David... quite arty huh? haha.And this is what we are talking about!! Not a normal sized burger mind you... I feel quite proud to have finished that!!!
I had the guacamole cheese burger and we shared the chilli fries. It really brings back memories of the chilli fries I had so many times during the San Fran-Lake Tahoe holiday I took a few years back... The chilli fries reminds me of the very same dish I had on the Lake Tahoe Sierra Nevada ski slopes, which reminds me of the skiing I did that clear splendid day... which reminds me of the rush I got when I zoomed down the slope(beginner slope but still considered a slope la)...mmmmmmmmm.....
Here are a few hall friends and I at the Hill Bistro on Mt Faber, after which we adjourned to Altivo's. It's a tad anti-climax. We had such high expectations and the food was average, considering the steep prices. But the company was good and the view quite lovely. We really don't get to meet up much, and sometimes I feel the friendships slipping away slowly but surely. And that's sad. Anyway, this is one of the nights where we got to hang out, drink margaritas, people watch...
And here is an edudine shot with some of the law girls... I had to rush off for my sister's birthday party right after this, but this is one of the happier times of the night, right before we had some of the really bad food! Chilli oil was served and labelled as tom yum, for one thing. And they had bits of uncooked limp chicken floating in an oily curry. Urrgh.
As I'm rifling through my old pics online, I come across this pic of my old hall room, only to realise in my greatest horror that my pride and joy, the 2000 Gore v Bush poster, which I plucked from Capitol Hill, Washington during the election protests, has gone missing!!!! Bruddy hell, where the @#$%%$#@&* is it???!!!
See, it's right behind to a very unflattering me. See how nice it looks. WHERE CAN IT BE??!! I am always looking for stuff... Bugger, must go and find it. Time to sleuth around for it.
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Random
I just spent 2 productive days churning out tutorial after tutorial and my Professional Responsiblity assignment. The first draft of the latter is done, and frankly, usually I can't be bothered so much after the first draft. It feels as though the burden of my shoulders is lifted and I'll start to slide into celebratory mood. Hehe, hopefully, this means that my Wednesday is now free and I can go out and enjoy myself without worrying too much!!! It also means that Lindy Hop will be that much stress-free for me!
The weekend that flew by was rather memorable too. Spent it in the company of people that I care about. Surrounded by different groups of people that I don't always get to meet. Went for a Japanese buffet at Siglap called Igen. Suffice it to say that I walked in with an empty stomach and came out bursting at the seams. It was a tad sickening towards the end because I could feel the MSG clogging my throat. And yes, whatever weight lost in the 27km run has already been put back on. Later, I headed to Timbre where all I did was down glass after glass of H2O. But the place reminded me so much of that little cafe in Prague, surrounded by high yellow walls and an al fresco setting with overhanging trees. The cafe where we sought refuge because we were similarly parched.
On Sunday, I met up with my secondary school friends. It's been so long since I met up with some of them! Haha, thanks to Jessica, we got hooked on what we call "tikam". Remember those machines with the coin slots, and when you twist the handle, out comes a small egg-shaped container. As you eagerly retrieve it, you pry it open with your fingers, all the while peering through the plastic to snatch a peek of your prized find. I got a great kick out of the Nightmare Before Christmas slot machine. There's a little character keychain placed inside a tin-coffin. I got the dog. But I didn't like it, so I exchanged it with Yingjie, who got one of the skeleton characters whose name I simply cannot remember. So much so for luck of the draw huh.
The weekend that flew by was rather memorable too. Spent it in the company of people that I care about. Surrounded by different groups of people that I don't always get to meet. Went for a Japanese buffet at Siglap called Igen. Suffice it to say that I walked in with an empty stomach and came out bursting at the seams. It was a tad sickening towards the end because I could feel the MSG clogging my throat. And yes, whatever weight lost in the 27km run has already been put back on. Later, I headed to Timbre where all I did was down glass after glass of H2O. But the place reminded me so much of that little cafe in Prague, surrounded by high yellow walls and an al fresco setting with overhanging trees. The cafe where we sought refuge because we were similarly parched.
On Sunday, I met up with my secondary school friends. It's been so long since I met up with some of them! Haha, thanks to Jessica, we got hooked on what we call "tikam". Remember those machines with the coin slots, and when you twist the handle, out comes a small egg-shaped container. As you eagerly retrieve it, you pry it open with your fingers, all the while peering through the plastic to snatch a peek of your prized find. I got a great kick out of the Nightmare Before Christmas slot machine. There's a little character keychain placed inside a tin-coffin. I got the dog. But I didn't like it, so I exchanged it with Yingjie, who got one of the skeleton characters whose name I simply cannot remember. So much so for luck of the draw huh.
Thursday, October 20, 2005
Charleston and Cheonging for the Marathon
Two of my extracurricular activities during PLC - Lindy hopping and Marathon training... Don't think I set out specifically to do them. They just came on a whim, after some people asked me whether I was interested.
Lindy hop was originally an afterthought. I would have continued with salsa intermediate stage, but I thought, what the heck, let's give lindy hop a chance. While it's not as scintillating as salsa - no suggestive hip thrusting or inappropriate hand grazing - it's actually more fun! I like the speed, the quick rhythms and the fast twirls. And all that bobbing to the music. It's exhilarating. It's a fantastic workout, although, inappropriate hand grazing may occur by accident occasionally still.. haha(BUT the people here are very unassuming... no posers as far as I can tell!) I think I'll try to take up intermediate lindy hop when this beginner's class is over. It's addictive. Now that we are learning more steps, it's getting more and more fun. The guys don't get it good, because they have to lead, but I realise that it's difficult to respond to the guy's leading too because you have to interpret what they are trying to do. Very often I catch myself doing a wrong twirl when the guy's intention is to do a Charleston... Also, the force that the guy exerts in pushing and twirling you vary from person to person, but it's the ones with more expertise that push you with more gumption, that create that momentum and rush.
Marathon training, what can I say. I always start off the runs by carbo-loading. And my runs are getting earlier and earlier, because I'm trying to increase the distance. Thankfully today's run went really well, although my stomach was churning badly for some reason. I decided to continue running as long as possible without stopping, becuase stopping would make my stomach churn even more obviously. Thank God then, because my timing today was great! I ran from home all the way to the Amber Road entrance to ECP(which I calculated to be 7km on streetdirectory.com). Then I ran to Fort Road along the ECP, and then I did an about turn and jogged to the Safra Resort at Tanah Merah and back. It was about 27km in all and I did it in 3.5hrs. What spurred me on was a fellow marathoner, whom I met as I passed the golf course. I'm so glad to have met him, because he made me realise how much more I have to improve before the big day!!! And because he paced me, I ran more consistently and quickly. And at least there was a source of distraction, away from thoughts of giving up.. haha.
This guy is really inspiring. He's probably about 50 something and he's already done 37 marathons, the last of which was the one in Paris in April! I mean, this guy really goes around the world participating in these races. He is American-Chinese, runs about 3 times a week, and he's got NO FAT on his body at all. I want to look like that when I'm 50!!! Charles, as he introduced himself, gave me valuable pointers on how to go about my training. The next time round, I shall try to do multiple sprints instead and see how that affects my timing. He's right that it probably boils down to the last 10km. It's the last 10 that freaks me out, because I'm usually so tired by the time I finish my twenty something runs. Today, at the end, I was already cramping up.
On a side note, I went to Little India for French food at the French Stall... The food was only so-so, but afterwards, David and I headed down to the Deepavali Bazaar to check it out. We bought sparklers to relive our childhood memories... Hahahaha. Then we went to some grassy patch at a void deck to play with them. We constructed some little nice bonfires full of sparklers! That was really really fun. Such spontaneous moments don't always come around, but it's because they are rare that they become so memorable.
Lindy hop was originally an afterthought. I would have continued with salsa intermediate stage, but I thought, what the heck, let's give lindy hop a chance. While it's not as scintillating as salsa - no suggestive hip thrusting or inappropriate hand grazing - it's actually more fun! I like the speed, the quick rhythms and the fast twirls. And all that bobbing to the music. It's exhilarating. It's a fantastic workout, although, inappropriate hand grazing may occur by accident occasionally still.. haha(BUT the people here are very unassuming... no posers as far as I can tell!) I think I'll try to take up intermediate lindy hop when this beginner's class is over. It's addictive. Now that we are learning more steps, it's getting more and more fun. The guys don't get it good, because they have to lead, but I realise that it's difficult to respond to the guy's leading too because you have to interpret what they are trying to do. Very often I catch myself doing a wrong twirl when the guy's intention is to do a Charleston... Also, the force that the guy exerts in pushing and twirling you vary from person to person, but it's the ones with more expertise that push you with more gumption, that create that momentum and rush.
Marathon training, what can I say. I always start off the runs by carbo-loading. And my runs are getting earlier and earlier, because I'm trying to increase the distance. Thankfully today's run went really well, although my stomach was churning badly for some reason. I decided to continue running as long as possible without stopping, becuase stopping would make my stomach churn even more obviously. Thank God then, because my timing today was great! I ran from home all the way to the Amber Road entrance to ECP(which I calculated to be 7km on streetdirectory.com). Then I ran to Fort Road along the ECP, and then I did an about turn and jogged to the Safra Resort at Tanah Merah and back. It was about 27km in all and I did it in 3.5hrs. What spurred me on was a fellow marathoner, whom I met as I passed the golf course. I'm so glad to have met him, because he made me realise how much more I have to improve before the big day!!! And because he paced me, I ran more consistently and quickly. And at least there was a source of distraction, away from thoughts of giving up.. haha.
This guy is really inspiring. He's probably about 50 something and he's already done 37 marathons, the last of which was the one in Paris in April! I mean, this guy really goes around the world participating in these races. He is American-Chinese, runs about 3 times a week, and he's got NO FAT on his body at all. I want to look like that when I'm 50!!! Charles, as he introduced himself, gave me valuable pointers on how to go about my training. The next time round, I shall try to do multiple sprints instead and see how that affects my timing. He's right that it probably boils down to the last 10km. It's the last 10 that freaks me out, because I'm usually so tired by the time I finish my twenty something runs. Today, at the end, I was already cramping up.
On a side note, I went to Little India for French food at the French Stall... The food was only so-so, but afterwards, David and I headed down to the Deepavali Bazaar to check it out. We bought sparklers to relive our childhood memories... Hahahaha. Then we went to some grassy patch at a void deck to play with them. We constructed some little nice bonfires full of sparklers! That was really really fun. Such spontaneous moments don't always come around, but it's because they are rare that they become so memorable.
Monday, October 17, 2005
Panic
How do I describe the panic rising from my gut when I realise that what I've been working towards for 4 years is perhaps not what I want after all? And how do I even attempt to define myself in a different way from how I've perceived myself the last 4 years?
Being a lawyer has always been the end goal, but not an end goal that fills me with passion or joy. But this has not really bugged me till lately. Till PLC. PLC - The dreaded acronym. During PLC I've learnt how to write countless letters, I've learnt countless procedures and provisions and procedural laws, but what do I glean from it? It's a process that leads up to the culmination in May - when I can finally become a full-fledged lawyer. But is this what I am really driven to do? Already I know that I won't be practising for the rest of my life. Law has always been my default choice, but more and more, I see myself thinking, analysing and behaving like what a lawyer should be. I have become ingrained into the culture. Already I find myself becoming more superficial, more image and brand conscious. Call that part of growing up and entering the workforce, but I think it affects lawyers more than other professions.
Today, as my tutor was speaking of how law was not his original choice, and how the life of a lawyer is really tough, of how little and precious yr private time to yourself becomes, it suddenly dawned on me that I'm wasting my time here. I really don't want to be a lawyer. I just don't know what else to do. What other avenues are open to me???
I can't even define this dissatisfaction with law. I just know that in my gut, deep down somewhere, I'm uneasy and unsettled. I cannot settle or feel at peace with myself as some of my peers are about being a lawyer. I know many who are resigned, who know there is nothing else that they can do well, so why bother. But I need the passion to keep going forward, otherwise what else is there besides a machine?
And God does not speak. Or at least, maybe I'm just not hungry enough to hear from Him. Maybe I'm spiritually dull. I am experiencing a sense of apathy, of not caring what will happen, of willing away the days and not being bothered about it. Isn't it ironic to be so disturbed about ennui and not being able to rise up and make some changes?
Being a lawyer has always been the end goal, but not an end goal that fills me with passion or joy. But this has not really bugged me till lately. Till PLC. PLC - The dreaded acronym. During PLC I've learnt how to write countless letters, I've learnt countless procedures and provisions and procedural laws, but what do I glean from it? It's a process that leads up to the culmination in May - when I can finally become a full-fledged lawyer. But is this what I am really driven to do? Already I know that I won't be practising for the rest of my life. Law has always been my default choice, but more and more, I see myself thinking, analysing and behaving like what a lawyer should be. I have become ingrained into the culture. Already I find myself becoming more superficial, more image and brand conscious. Call that part of growing up and entering the workforce, but I think it affects lawyers more than other professions.
Today, as my tutor was speaking of how law was not his original choice, and how the life of a lawyer is really tough, of how little and precious yr private time to yourself becomes, it suddenly dawned on me that I'm wasting my time here. I really don't want to be a lawyer. I just don't know what else to do. What other avenues are open to me???
I can't even define this dissatisfaction with law. I just know that in my gut, deep down somewhere, I'm uneasy and unsettled. I cannot settle or feel at peace with myself as some of my peers are about being a lawyer. I know many who are resigned, who know there is nothing else that they can do well, so why bother. But I need the passion to keep going forward, otherwise what else is there besides a machine?
And God does not speak. Or at least, maybe I'm just not hungry enough to hear from Him. Maybe I'm spiritually dull. I am experiencing a sense of apathy, of not caring what will happen, of willing away the days and not being bothered about it. Isn't it ironic to be so disturbed about ennui and not being able to rise up and make some changes?
Saturday, October 15, 2005
Edudine is OVER
Finally, Edudine is over. I don't feel that relieved about it though. In fact, it sort of spells the end of PLC as I know it and the start of the blasted exam period. Interestingly, quite a few people are traveling now because tutorials are going to come to an end soon. But for once, I won't be the jet-setter. My tickets have drizzled to an end and I don't have the cash for it.
Anyway, I won't digress. Out of all 3 edudines I attended, I particularly enjoyed the first and this last one. I didn't care too much about the second one. I kept looking at my watch, willing the event to end asap because I had to rush home for J's birthday party. And the food was bad and the company rather wanting.
This time, I actually enjoyed engaging the people at my table. The lawyers were quite amusing. One of them was Ian de Vaz from Wong Partnership. He kept issuing namecards and joking that if we ever lost our jobs, he would be ready to welcome us with open arms.. haha. The other lawyer was young and very sweet and it turns out she's already a mother of a 17month old kid. Freak. I was sitting on the more interesting side of the table. For once. All this while, it seems that the interesting conversation always takes place somewhere else, whereas I'd always get stuck making the awkward small talk and not having my heart in it. But this time, I actually had a pretty good time!
A few of us headed down to Post Bar later. It was basically the girls, and one guy.. haha. Priya got picked up by this older man... and we kept smirking like mad as he approached her. Well it was a fun night. Tomorrow, I have to work off the alcohol and the nuts!!!
Anyway, I won't digress. Out of all 3 edudines I attended, I particularly enjoyed the first and this last one. I didn't care too much about the second one. I kept looking at my watch, willing the event to end asap because I had to rush home for J's birthday party. And the food was bad and the company rather wanting.
This time, I actually enjoyed engaging the people at my table. The lawyers were quite amusing. One of them was Ian de Vaz from Wong Partnership. He kept issuing namecards and joking that if we ever lost our jobs, he would be ready to welcome us with open arms.. haha. The other lawyer was young and very sweet and it turns out she's already a mother of a 17month old kid. Freak. I was sitting on the more interesting side of the table. For once. All this while, it seems that the interesting conversation always takes place somewhere else, whereas I'd always get stuck making the awkward small talk and not having my heart in it. But this time, I actually had a pretty good time!
A few of us headed down to Post Bar later. It was basically the girls, and one guy.. haha. Priya got picked up by this older man... and we kept smirking like mad as he approached her. Well it was a fun night. Tomorrow, I have to work off the alcohol and the nuts!!!
Thursday, October 13, 2005
Orwellian Singapore
This is an excerpt from CNN. We are really such a joke.
SINGAPORE (AP) -- Singapore's government urged drivers to apologize for "errors of judgment" on the road and wave to fellow motorists, in its latest behavior modification campaign rolled out Thursday.
"If you do make an error of judgment on the road, a simple apologetic wave on your part will go a long way to defuse the situation and avoid confrontation," said Ho Peng Kee, the country's senior minister of state for law.
"Singapore roads need not be stressful if we all drive with consideration, with care, with courtesy in mind," he said.
Ho said the "Singapore Road Wave" would be incorporated into the annual road courtesy campaign.
Around half a million leaflets with road safety messages will be distributed as part of the promotion, he said.
And there's road courtesy for children too.
"A story book entitled 'James and the Big Red Car,' which highlights the importance of child seats, will be relaunched to incorporate road courtesy messages at the back of the book," Ho said.
Singapore, a tiny, wealthy city-state, is well-known for its campaigns to modify behavior. Among its efforts have been campaigns to teach Singaporeans to speak English properly, to show people how to be more romantic, and to flush public toilets.
Critics have denounced the numerous promotions of morality as Orwellian and condescending toward citizens.
SINGAPORE (AP) -- Singapore's government urged drivers to apologize for "errors of judgment" on the road and wave to fellow motorists, in its latest behavior modification campaign rolled out Thursday.
"If you do make an error of judgment on the road, a simple apologetic wave on your part will go a long way to defuse the situation and avoid confrontation," said Ho Peng Kee, the country's senior minister of state for law.
"Singapore roads need not be stressful if we all drive with consideration, with care, with courtesy in mind," he said.
Ho said the "Singapore Road Wave" would be incorporated into the annual road courtesy campaign.
Around half a million leaflets with road safety messages will be distributed as part of the promotion, he said.
And there's road courtesy for children too.
"A story book entitled 'James and the Big Red Car,' which highlights the importance of child seats, will be relaunched to incorporate road courtesy messages at the back of the book," Ho said.
Singapore, a tiny, wealthy city-state, is well-known for its campaigns to modify behavior. Among its efforts have been campaigns to teach Singaporeans to speak English properly, to show people how to be more romantic, and to flush public toilets.
Critics have denounced the numerous promotions of morality as Orwellian and condescending toward citizens.
Friday, October 07, 2005
Crisis
I'm going through this quarter life crisis now... What should I do with my life, what's wrong with my life, what I should do to revamp it, is this the life that I want for myself, blah blah blah. Funny that the person you always wanted to be when you were young isn't exactly how you would turn out when you've become that coveted age. At 23, I don't think I feel like the person I should have become, the person I thought I would be when I was younger. I thought I would be more confident, but I'm not. I thought I would be more streetwise than this. I thought I would carry myself better. Fat chance.
But then again, I haven't really thanked God for all the other attributes He's lavished on me. I don't think I have a crappy personality, I am able to actually enjoy the simple things in life, like good weather, running, food, etc. I have passions (even if they come and go).
Maybe it's only because the grass is greener on the other side. And maybe because I'm not leaving enough up to Him. But there's a balance to be tread between relying on Him too much, not trying to throw yourself out into the deep waters, and trying to wrestle God to the ground to get what you want. And there's also the idea that I have to figure out just what I want with my life, in order to feel so strongly about it to want to throw myself into those deep waters. I'm only making sense to myself at this point, but I think this is the perennial question that every 23-year-old would ask at some point. Quiet time has only thrown up so much.
The fact that I'm panicking about returning to the firm should be an indication that my calling is not in the legal fraternity. The fact that my heart plummets to the ground when I realise I'm less than 2 months away from selling my soul again... But where else should I go? Am I the only one feeling this way? I wish I had the guts to check out early, but I don't want to quit without running the whole course. At least, at the end, I can say that that is DEFINITELY not for me. But I can't do it yet. I'll be selling myself short.
But then again, I haven't really thanked God for all the other attributes He's lavished on me. I don't think I have a crappy personality, I am able to actually enjoy the simple things in life, like good weather, running, food, etc. I have passions (even if they come and go).
Maybe it's only because the grass is greener on the other side. And maybe because I'm not leaving enough up to Him. But there's a balance to be tread between relying on Him too much, not trying to throw yourself out into the deep waters, and trying to wrestle God to the ground to get what you want. And there's also the idea that I have to figure out just what I want with my life, in order to feel so strongly about it to want to throw myself into those deep waters. I'm only making sense to myself at this point, but I think this is the perennial question that every 23-year-old would ask at some point. Quiet time has only thrown up so much.
The fact that I'm panicking about returning to the firm should be an indication that my calling is not in the legal fraternity. The fact that my heart plummets to the ground when I realise I'm less than 2 months away from selling my soul again... But where else should I go? Am I the only one feeling this way? I wish I had the guts to check out early, but I don't want to quit without running the whole course. At least, at the end, I can say that that is DEFINITELY not for me. But I can't do it yet. I'll be selling myself short.
Dreams and more
I had the weirdest dream this afternoon. I have to take down, or else it will fade as we speak. There was once, I woke up with a very vivid and disturbing dream. And the more I tried to recap it, the more it slipped from my fingers. I get such a helpless defeated feeling when my dreams suddenly disappear into thin air, maybe because they feel very personal. Plus, it's interesting to dissect dreams to decipher if they give you a glimpse into something that you haven't been able to work out when you are lucid.
My dream in the afternoon was about New York. I was in New York, with my dad. And we were headed for ground zero. Just as I hopped into the cab, I noticed that he disappeared. But I figured he was around the corner, so I waited for the cab to crawl a little distance before I got out. There was an interruption in my train of thought as I saw the price on the taxi meter, stating that it was 8 freaking bucks for such a short ride down the small road. Try as I could, I couldn't find my dad anywhere at all. He didn't even respond to any phone calls. As I trekked up and down, I started to recognise quite a few faces... faces that I've seen in school before, faces that I once knew, especially the ones from hall, but they were faces that have disappeared from my life for quite a while now. I probably wouldn't even think of them usually. It was at the moment when I want to head a different direction to look for my dad, after talking to Elliot(a hall friend) that I woke up with a start. It was a very unsatisfying dream, a feeling of complete failure. But it's the shitty dreams that make you happy to be awake.
And then there are those dreams that make you so happy when you are immersed in it. But when you awake from that tranquil slumber, you realise with a start that you are back in the real world. Now that's depressing. I've had so many of those. Maybe it's a sign that I have to take some things into my hands, instead of letting God make fate and letting fate change things. I react to my environment more than I let up. This feeling of being out of control has been happening for too long. But what can I do about it?
My dream in the afternoon was about New York. I was in New York, with my dad. And we were headed for ground zero. Just as I hopped into the cab, I noticed that he disappeared. But I figured he was around the corner, so I waited for the cab to crawl a little distance before I got out. There was an interruption in my train of thought as I saw the price on the taxi meter, stating that it was 8 freaking bucks for such a short ride down the small road. Try as I could, I couldn't find my dad anywhere at all. He didn't even respond to any phone calls. As I trekked up and down, I started to recognise quite a few faces... faces that I've seen in school before, faces that I once knew, especially the ones from hall, but they were faces that have disappeared from my life for quite a while now. I probably wouldn't even think of them usually. It was at the moment when I want to head a different direction to look for my dad, after talking to Elliot(a hall friend) that I woke up with a start. It was a very unsatisfying dream, a feeling of complete failure. But it's the shitty dreams that make you happy to be awake.
And then there are those dreams that make you so happy when you are immersed in it. But when you awake from that tranquil slumber, you realise with a start that you are back in the real world. Now that's depressing. I've had so many of those. Maybe it's a sign that I have to take some things into my hands, instead of letting God make fate and letting fate change things. I react to my environment more than I let up. This feeling of being out of control has been happening for too long. But what can I do about it?
Sunday, October 02, 2005
Bali Bombings
The creepy thing is that I remember that Raja's restaurant in downtown Kuta so distinctly. I remember passing the restaurant and perusing its menu. That was the point when we decided that it was expensive and we moved on to a similar establishment a few doors away. They cater mainly to the expatriate crowd, selling Caucasian-ised versions of local food and burgers, steaks and salads. And beer. Lots of beer. Water droplets spritze from vents in the ceiling to lend some coolness to the hot humid Bali weather. I also remember the various clothing shops down the strip at downtown Kuta. It's a very small road. Shops are stacked close to each other. But the square is one of the most populated places at any time of day.
I also remember Jimbaran, where we had the overpriced and overrated seafood. But the ambience was beautiful. Chairs and tables planted on the sand and overlooking the beautiful waves. But the waves were loud and tended to drown out conversation. I also can remember the conversations all of us had that balmy night. I think it was a Thursday. And we later walked down the beach to walk off that seafood dinner.
Bali was a disaster. I had diarrhoea, we missed our flight, we got threatened by a shopkeeper... But it still doesn't deserve this. The poor people just keep getting poorer. Now I recognise and know a few faces there, like Din the guy who taught me surfing, and his 'pimp'. Or the random people who sold me things or who made small talk. I wonder what has happened to them?
I also remember Jimbaran, where we had the overpriced and overrated seafood. But the ambience was beautiful. Chairs and tables planted on the sand and overlooking the beautiful waves. But the waves were loud and tended to drown out conversation. I also can remember the conversations all of us had that balmy night. I think it was a Thursday. And we later walked down the beach to walk off that seafood dinner.
Bali was a disaster. I had diarrhoea, we missed our flight, we got threatened by a shopkeeper... But it still doesn't deserve this. The poor people just keep getting poorer. Now I recognise and know a few faces there, like Din the guy who taught me surfing, and his 'pimp'. Or the random people who sold me things or who made small talk. I wonder what has happened to them?
Saturday, October 01, 2005
Inniskillin Wine
I'm so craving Inniskillin ice wine now. It's thick, sweet and runs down the throat like sweet nectar. Ok, I'm probably exaggerating, but it's seriously good stuff.
Must get my hands on some ice wine soon... Why must it be so expensive???
Must get my hands on some ice wine soon... Why must it be so expensive???
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