Unsatisfied Craving: Chocolate Pecan pie from PS Cafe

Ah yes, the food of my dreams.

Movies to catch

This is the year of the trilogies it seems. And I'm aiming to go through the third instalment of these movies. I've already seen Spiderman 3, however, and it wasn't so hot. Maybe cos I was dead tired that day:

1. Shrek 3
2. Ocean's 13
3. Pirates

I'm also thinking of watch The Simpsons, which is due out this summer. Apart from these, I don't think the other movies are particularly to-die-for. It seems like an uninspired summer where movies just keep getting recycled.

After work activities

It's been a great one and a half weeks. I've managed to run out of the office in good time, to get myself doing things that are usually on done on weekends=)

Since the parents were away, the car was all mine!! I also had a small hiatus in between assignments at work. Haha.

Last Tues, I hopped down to Bukit Timah to meet E at her place and we went running. I ran into the estates where it was hilly, and then I ran out on the main road. And then I ran up the bridges... It was good.

And then Jerrine and I went for prata another day, as we reminesced about our days at Upper Thomson and how we never used to appreciate proximity to all these nice hangout places until we left it for er, Potong Pasir... At least Potong Pasir has got one thing good going for it - proximity to Serangoon Gardens and the Kallang Park Connector, which has almost become my lifeline to fitness.

I also managed to do a gym session on Monday - we went for pilates and then I did an entire hour on the cross-training machine. Thank God for mtv, espn and channelnewsasia, or else I would have died of boredom.

Just yesterday, I rushed off to vivocity for "Priceless". It's a really good movie and man, is Audrey Tatou hot. Just two rows behind me sat Ady, coincidentally. Nowadays my diet plans are being tossed aside. Life is too short. So we decided to binge on good old nachos. (Actually, that day was a scary eating day, so I think I'll hold off on too much rich food for a bit now...)

These were only the weekdays and they were so productive that I almost forgot I had to work=)

"Transferability"

Last night we talked about transferability. A insisted that there was no need to look for that. We already have a perfect love that comes from God. Why mess with the real deal? Why seek to find the ephemeral and the tenuous type that fixates on satisfying one’s own wants and needs? The selfish sort. The sort that easily removes oneself from one and attaches itself readily and easily onto the next.

At first I was the firm defender of the beauty of eros love. And I protested that true eros love does exist and that God can and will make such love beautiful.

But the more I thought about it, the more I realize that such eros love just doesn’t hold out. For all the beautiful stories that we hear, how many more end in heartbreak. Or worse still, how many more end with an “I don’t love you anymore.”

How also does one lose that love so suddenly? How can one trust and rely and depend on this other being, knowing that there is a stark possibility of an “I don’t love you anymore” around the corner.

Every time a couple breaks up, this love they once professed is also easily separated and reattached so easily and so quickly onto the next subject. What about the feelings of the person you once loved? What does one do with all the past memories and feelings and all that love? Does it just disappear? Or does it get transferred onto and vested into the next person?

It all boils down to the selfish nature of man.

At this moment, I am reminded of 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7

“Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy.
Love is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude;
It is not self-seeking, nor easily angered.
It keeps no record of wrongdoing.
It does not delight in evil,
But rejoices in the truth.
It always protects, trusts, hopes, and preserves.
There is nothing love cannot face;
There is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance.
In a word, there are three things that last forever:
Faith, hope, and love;
But the greatest of them all is love.”

Wallet..............

Time to buy a new wallet. My dear brown wallet has officially died. The clasp fell off and I can’t fasten it anymore =( Now I’m thinking very fondly of that nice Mulberry wallet I was eyeing in London. Hmmm…

Neal's Yard - drool

I need to get my hands on some Neal's Yard Remedies face products. I am in love with their Yarrow and Comfrey Moisturiser, which is 1/3 empty since I bought it from London 1.5 months ago. I am also in love with their Witchhazel toner.

However, Neal's Yard Remedies can only be found in UK, I am presently kicking myself in the foot for not buying more to store... Hahaha. Very auntie right?

If anyone is going to London anytime soon, you are going to be my best friend...

Good recommendation Kris!!!

Wakeboarding

This is the year of grand plans, to be good at something. To be Master of something instead of a Jack at all trades. But I find myself doing many many things, instead of just sticking to one. Although, I must say, I am starting to get a bit better at the new interests I am investing in.

Wakeboarding is one of these. I went wakeboarding today. The last time I was in top form. I managed to cross both wakes smoothly finally, and I did one jump.

We started at 8am. 8am means u have to get up really early on a saturday morning, which sucks. But, the water is nice and calm and less polluted. And the sun is not out in its full glory yet.

This time round, I was not at my best. Usually, crossing the right wake should come very naturally. But today, I'm not sure if it's the choppy water (since we were in the open sea), or whether I was obsessing about the technicalities a bit too much and missed the big picture, or whether I was just having a generic "off" day, but I actually tipped forward while crossing the right wake! That's my problem - not leaning backwards enough.

My first run was a disaster. It completely pissed me off.

The second run was so much better. I managed to do a jump again! But I landed very very badly as I was crossing back from the left into the wake. I tipped forward, again, and went SPLAT right into the water face forward. And the board got ripped from my feet. OUCH. It was like having a mini concussion.

Anyway there are things to learn from this lesson:

1. LEAN BACK
2. Learning in choppy water sucks but it's good for u in the long run.
3. Sometimes, the best way of moving from left to right is to move the front toe up and down. But, at all times, the weight should be on the back leg.
4. No matter how much sunblock I use, I will still look like a boiled lobster after 2 hours.

Happy Birthday Dad

Dad's birthday today. Same day as Earth Day =) Usually, close to the actual birthday, we would be discussing where to go for the birthday dinner/lunch. And it has invariably been a buffet for the last few years. This time round, we have already covered most of the better hotel buffets and the nice restaurant ones. At least the ones cheaper than 50=) I've already done the Brazilian place at 6th Avenue, and Melt (which I had been dying to go to and where Dad puked from overeating) I've also done nice Olive Tree, which I wouldn't mind going again to.

Anyway, this time round, I did the organising. It was either MinJiang or Majestic. I couldn't think of anywhere else and frankly, I wasn't particularly inspired by any restaurant right now.

Chubby Hubby's review of Majestic Restaurant won me over.

We went there for dinner tonight. All of us had that Peking duck and wasabi prawn and foie gras starter which was DELECTABLE. The prawn was so crunchy and the touch of mayo coating it was just right. The Foie Gras was slightly cripy from being pan-seared, but it was oozing with oils when I sliced it. YUM.

The lamb was also melt in the mouth. The carrot cake on the side wasn't too dry and it was flavourful. The lamb was surprisingly succulent although it looked quite well done.

The soft shell crab was bathed in a rich chilli sauce with a hint of lime. Hmmm....

As for the dessert, my parents and sister had two dishes of the "Crispy Durian Ice Cream". Even a durian-hater like me could emphathise with why it sounded so irresistible. When it arrived at the table, it was a battered ball of durian paste sitting neatly on a pool of some mango-looking sauce that I could not identify.

That was one really good dinner!!!! Happy birthday Dad!!!

Apollo and Daphne

This story suddenly came to me this evening as one of those random extensions of whatever else I was thinking about.

I remember the story of Apollo and Daphne. It was an Enid Blyton version of the story. When I read it, I was filled with sympathy for Daphne and anger towards Apollo. For this was a testament of how man could cause the destruction of woman. And all that relentless chasing was to no avail. What, I ask, can come out of it? He pursued, and despite her numerous piteous pleas, the goal-oriented man continued to head towards her, with no idea of what she actually wanted, with no idea of what true love entailed.

This is how the pursuit was described on one website:

"She, hating the thought of marriage as a crime, with her beautiful face tinged all over with blushes, threw her arms around her father's neck, and said, "Dearest father, grant me this favour, that I may always remain unmarried, like Diana." He consented, but at the same time said, "Your own face will forbid it."

Apollo loved her, and longed to obtain her; and he who gives oracles to all the world was not wise enough to look into his own fortunes. He saw her hair flung loose over her shoulders, and said, "If so charming, in disorder, what would it be if arranged?" He saw her eyes bright as stars; he saw her lips, and was not satisfied with only seeing them. He admired her hands and arms, naked to the shoulder, and whatever was hidden from view he imagined more beautiful still. He followed her; she fled, swifter than the wind, and delayed not a moment at his entreaties. "Stay," said he, "daughter of Peneus; I am not a foe. Do not fly me as a lamb flies the wolf, or a dove the hawk. It is for love I pursue you. You make me miserable, for fear you should fall and hurt yourself on these stones, and I should be the cause. Pray run slower, and I will follow slower. I am no clown, no rude peasant. Jupiter is my father, and I am lord of Delphos and Tenedos, and know all things, present and future. I am the god of song and the lyre. My arrows fly true to the mark; but, alas! an arrow more fatal than mine has pierced my heart! I am the god of medicine, and know the virtues of all healing plants. Alas! I suffer a malady that no balm. can cure!"

The nymph continued her flight, and left his plea half uttered. And even as she fled she charmed him. The wind blew her garments, and her unbound hair streamed loose behind her. The god grew impatient to find his wooings thrown away, and, sped by Cupid, gained upon her in the race. It was like a hound pursuing a hare, with open jaws ready to seize, while the feebler animal darts forward, slipping from the very grasp. So flew the god and the virgin- he on the wings of love, and she on those of fear. The pursuer is the more rapid, however, and gains upon her, and his panting breath blows upon her hair. Her strength begins to fail, and, ready to sink, she calls upon her father, the river god: "Help me, Peneus! open the earth to enclose me, or change my form, which has brought me into this danger!" Scarcely had she spoken, when a stiffness seized all her limbs; her bosom began to be enclosed in a tender bark; her hair became leaves; her arms became branches; her foot stuck fast in the ground, as a root; her face became a tree-top, retaining nothing of its former self but its beauty, Apollo stood amazed. He touched the stem, and felt the flesh tremble under the new bark. He embraced the branches, and lavished kisses on the wood. The branches shrank from his lips. "Since you cannot be my wife," said he, "you shall assuredly be my tree. I will wear you for my crown; I will decorate with you my harp and my quiver; and when the great Roman conquerors lead up the triumphal pomp to the Capitol, you shall be woven into wreaths for their brows. And, as eternal youth is mine, you also shall be always green, and your leaf know no decay." The nymph, now changed into a Laurel tree, bowed its head in grateful acknowledgment."

I have also always wondered why the women in Greek and Roman mythology were so weak. Look at Psyche, Clytie, Persephone, Io, etc. All weak women with no power over their own destinies. Even the athletic and headstrong independent Daphne ultimately succumbed to becoming an object of desire and lust for ETERNITY by becoming a laurel tree. There was no escape.

But to some extent, I too, let others decide my future and my happiness, don't I? I too carry the mantra of "come what may, what is meant to be will be meant to be". I call it leaving it up to God. Let God decide. And so I will do nothing? Is that the way to interpret God's word? He said not to worry, but did he say "not to do"? Oftentimes, I wonder whether it's a matter of one's own will too. There are other Christians who will rise up to the occasion to create change. They know what they want and they go about taking the steps to execute it. It is something that I, 25-year-old I, have yet been able to do.

I see friends around me who do. And I compare myself with them. I also see how much my life has actually progressed over the last 2 years, and I have to answer "not much". Every day is a day waiting for something more to happen. That cannot be.

Saturday

I just watched Blithe Spirit. It was a hoot. I found out what it was about from P already, so I went in with expectations. But thankfully, I wasn't let down. My mind was wandering a bit at first, but I realised that the fun is in listening out for the reparte between Lim Kay Siu's character and his wives. The script is well done - witty and fast.

However, I think where it failed to be perfect was in the delivery of the lines. Lim Kay Siu and Neo Swee Lin had good lines, but some of the funny bits fly past you because they were delivered so nonchalantly and without much panache. They didn't look too comfortable saying some of the things. And Pam Oei was underutilised here as the domestic servant. Really, she's capable of so much more. But here, as the maid that flits in and out occasionally, she didn't have much opportunity to show off her acting chops. I also don't know why Neo Swee Lin always gets the uptight granny-ish worried roles.

We went to Purvis St for dinner and then later supper. We went to Tong Shui Cafe twice, once for a drink right after dinner and then later for a post-play session. The thick toast with peanut butter was HUGE. RICH AND GOOEY AND THICK AND er, after some time I was massively saturated from it.

And then, E and I went to salsa!!! Haha, it was far less crowded than usual. I expected far more people. But this also meant that the dance floor was nice and empty=) I think that I enjoy the Bachata quite a bit. I'm getting the hang of the dance. Just swivel your hips and sway the rhythm. And always remember to give the ass a final swish at the end of the 4-count bar. I think I can do the dances which require less technical maneuvering and which just requires a lot of booty action=) Yay, I know my strengths.. hahaha.

ok, but the down feeling is still there. Not much I can say without sounding cryptic. But I don't want to say too much either here. I just feel that this is a chapter I have to close and I don't want to.

Post Cheong

It's a very sudden low I'm feeling right now. Right after the high of Friday night. Friday night is something I look forward to every single day of the week. And I savour every single minute of it.

Today I went for my salsa class, after which we went for dinner at this half past six place at Millenia Walk. I can't even remember the name of the restaurant, which was next to Bakerzin. But they offered so many dishes that I felt it couldn't be that good. It was only average. And I didn't finish even half of it.

Later, we went to Jitterbugz for their social dance. Basically it's a dance floor open to people to come to salsa. Peter's friends from 2LeftFeet were there, which was how the plan started in the first place. Boy was it fun. Initially I had no energy... I was completely sapped of all energy, having slept at 230 the night before. But it didn't take long to get totally psyched up. I hadn't social danced for the longest time, and I've forgotten how fun it can be! The guys I danced with were very keen to teach and they were very friendly. And they don't just clique amongst themselves. I didn't know any guys there except Kersley and Peter, but I managed to dance with quite a few=)

Next program of the night was CHEONG AT BUTTER FACTORY. So that was what we did. Again, Eunice and I were just sponging of Peter by going for all his activities with his friends =) By this time, Eunice and I were so totally psyched by the salsa dancing. We could hear the music in our heads... haha. Amazingly, upon reaching, I realised I knew quite a few of the scholars present. Eerie. How ghosts from the past just surface after almost 8 years of having slipped down the surface...

That was one good cheonging session. It helped to see so many familiar faces that I knew, whether it be the law people or the scholars. And dancing with Eunice and Joanne was always fun. And the drinks got me happily merry. Not BAD HIGH. Yes, I think I had a lot of fun.

I left at about 2am. And after supper, I was headed for home.

Haiz. But through it all, there was a certain thought in my mind. Something that I just could not let go. And when I returned home, suddenly this feeling of loss just came flooding back. All I can do right now is to question "why". But I do not know the answer to the question that has been in my head for a long long time. Maybe I never will.

I am resigned to it.

Googling my name

Just for the heck of it, I googled my own name: J____ C___. I figured that the odds of someone googling for me using just "J____ C___" instead of my full name "J____ C___ Y____" was much higher. What came out sure makes me look like one staid boring person, give and take some irrelevant and odd entries.

The first few websites on the list were those that mentioned my contribution to CLAS: Criminal Legal Aid Scheme. Not one of my prouder moments. But ok. It just showed that I represented two people under the scheme. One for culpable homicide and one for drug importation.

The next one was a blog of a much younger namesake, who's 13 and living in Singapore. And her name is spelt in the exact same way. Yucks.

What happened to my 'glammer' contributions, like the Singapore Marathon?

Chocolate

It's high time I had an entry on my all time favourite food - Chocolate. Ok, it's ranked up there with my other favourite food - Tofu. But very rarely do you get the mass nodding of approval and general assent when you tell people that your favourite food is a curdled cube of soy. Yes, very rarely.

This article in NYT caught my eye. It's interesting to chart the rise and the development of what we know as the chocolate dessert. It says that, nowadays, chocolate desserts are increasing its chocolate density and percentage, whereas previously, it would take up only a small portion of the dessert itself. And nowadays, everyone is vying with everyone else to create the perfect, or the most intense, or the darkest, chocolate dessert. And it seems that the method to do so is to add more nuts, more chocolate, more butter. Essentially, MAXIMISE MAXIMISE MAXIMISE.

And how else, besides adding more rich ingredients, would add to the perfect concoction? Try adding the perfect name to it. Think of names that would conjure up sensory overload. Like "Intense", "Indulgence", "Fudge-frosted", "Orgasm", "Chewy Gooey", "Lava"... Get the drift? In fact, I am drooling as I write this.

Yes, now the thought of my mother's gooey, chewy, warm dark chocolate sponge cake oozing melted chocolate chips is popping up in my head now.

ps Check out the article. It's hilarious!

For Your Consideration

Hmmm I went to watch the show For Your Consideration today. It's a postmodern take on reality, and how reality is really a construct.

What started out to be a really bad film which the actors had roles in snowballed into the supposed movie of the year. It's quite funny, really. Quite a refreshing change from the usual Hollywood fare. And it was entertaining trying to identify the various actors who have made appearances in other shows that I've watched. I recognised Amy's weird dad on Everybody loves Raymond, or an actress who appeared on Arrested Development, and then there was environmentalist Ed Bageley Jr. Basically, it was a gathering of some stellar but not prominent actors laughing at the system that is Hollywood. And how, no matter how important the actors think themselves to be, especially while they are winning accolades and rave reviews in the Oscar circuit, they are still bit actors playing a small thankless part in the whole process. No one is indispensable.

I watched it with Jeremy, who had the habit of correcting my English at random points of our night-long conversation. But it was good fun. We went to Father Flanagan's for dinner. I was quite sad to hear that it was closing down on April 21, so I wanted to go one last time as a last Hurrah. Some nice times were spent here. I remember them well. But all good things must come to an end.

More Morocco

Morocco

Here are more pictures, courtesy of dearest Kris! The first one was just a teaser!!!! Morocco is really exotic. Every time you turn around, there's a Kodak moment=)