It's a very sudden low I'm feeling right now. Right after the high of Friday night. Friday night is something I look forward to every single day of the week. And I savour every single minute of it.
Today I went for my salsa class, after which we went for dinner at this half past six place at Millenia Walk. I can't even remember the name of the restaurant, which was next to Bakerzin. But they offered so many dishes that I felt it couldn't be that good. It was only average. And I didn't finish even half of it.
Later, we went to Jitterbugz for their social dance. Basically it's a dance floor open to people to come to salsa. Peter's friends from 2LeftFeet were there, which was how the plan started in the first place. Boy was it fun. Initially I had no energy... I was completely sapped of all energy, having slept at 230 the night before. But it didn't take long to get totally psyched up. I hadn't social danced for the longest time, and I've forgotten how fun it can be! The guys I danced with were very keen to teach and they were very friendly. And they don't just clique amongst themselves. I didn't know any guys there except Kersley and Peter, but I managed to dance with quite a few=)
Next program of the night was CHEONG AT BUTTER FACTORY. So that was what we did. Again, Eunice and I were just sponging of Peter by going for all his activities with his friends =) By this time, Eunice and I were so totally psyched by the salsa dancing. We could hear the music in our heads... haha. Amazingly, upon reaching, I realised I knew quite a few of the scholars present. Eerie. How ghosts from the past just surface after almost 8 years of having slipped down the surface...
That was one good cheonging session. It helped to see so many familiar faces that I knew, whether it be the law people or the scholars. And dancing with Eunice and Joanne was always fun. And the drinks got me happily merry. Not BAD HIGH. Yes, I think I had a lot of fun.
I left at about 2am. And after supper, I was headed for home.
Haiz. But through it all, there was a certain thought in my mind. Something that I just could not let go. And when I returned home, suddenly this feeling of loss just came flooding back. All I can do right now is to question "why". But I do not know the answer to the question that has been in my head for a long long time. Maybe I never will.
I am resigned to it.
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Monday, April 16, 2007
Googling my name
Just for the heck of it, I googled my own name: J____ C___. I figured that the odds of someone googling for me using just "J____ C___" instead of my full name "J____ C___ Y____" was much higher. What came out sure makes me look like one staid boring person, give and take some irrelevant and odd entries.
The first few websites on the list were those that mentioned my contribution to CLAS: Criminal Legal Aid Scheme. Not one of my prouder moments. But ok. It just showed that I represented two people under the scheme. One for culpable homicide and one for drug importation.
The next one was a blog of a much younger namesake, who's 13 and living in Singapore. And her name is spelt in the exact same way. Yucks.
What happened to my 'glammer' contributions, like the Singapore Marathon?
The first few websites on the list were those that mentioned my contribution to CLAS: Criminal Legal Aid Scheme. Not one of my prouder moments. But ok. It just showed that I represented two people under the scheme. One for culpable homicide and one for drug importation.
The next one was a blog of a much younger namesake, who's 13 and living in Singapore. And her name is spelt in the exact same way. Yucks.
What happened to my 'glammer' contributions, like the Singapore Marathon?
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Chocolate
It's high time I had an entry on my all time favourite food - Chocolate. Ok, it's ranked up there with my other favourite food - Tofu. But very rarely do you get the mass nodding of approval and general assent when you tell people that your favourite food is a curdled cube of soy. Yes, very rarely.
This article in NYT caught my eye. It's interesting to chart the rise and the development of what we know as the chocolate dessert. It says that, nowadays, chocolate desserts are increasing its chocolate density and percentage, whereas previously, it would take up only a small portion of the dessert itself. And nowadays, everyone is vying with everyone else to create the perfect, or the most intense, or the darkest, chocolate dessert. And it seems that the method to do so is to add more nuts, more chocolate, more butter. Essentially, MAXIMISE MAXIMISE MAXIMISE.
And how else, besides adding more rich ingredients, would add to the perfect concoction? Try adding the perfect name to it. Think of names that would conjure up sensory overload. Like "Intense", "Indulgence", "Fudge-frosted", "Orgasm", "Chewy Gooey", "Lava"... Get the drift? In fact, I am drooling as I write this.
Yes, now the thought of my mother's gooey, chewy, warm dark chocolate sponge cake oozing melted chocolate chips is popping up in my head now.
ps Check out the article. It's hilarious!
This article in NYT caught my eye. It's interesting to chart the rise and the development of what we know as the chocolate dessert. It says that, nowadays, chocolate desserts are increasing its chocolate density and percentage, whereas previously, it would take up only a small portion of the dessert itself. And nowadays, everyone is vying with everyone else to create the perfect, or the most intense, or the darkest, chocolate dessert. And it seems that the method to do so is to add more nuts, more chocolate, more butter. Essentially, MAXIMISE MAXIMISE MAXIMISE.
And how else, besides adding more rich ingredients, would add to the perfect concoction? Try adding the perfect name to it. Think of names that would conjure up sensory overload. Like "Intense", "Indulgence", "Fudge-frosted", "Orgasm", "Chewy Gooey", "Lava"... Get the drift? In fact, I am drooling as I write this.
Yes, now the thought of my mother's gooey, chewy, warm dark chocolate sponge cake oozing melted chocolate chips is popping up in my head now.
ps Check out the article. It's hilarious!
Saturday, April 07, 2007
For Your Consideration
Hmmm I went to watch the show For Your Consideration today. It's a postmodern take on reality, and how reality is really a construct.
What started out to be a really bad film which the actors had roles in snowballed into the supposed movie of the year. It's quite funny, really. Quite a refreshing change from the usual Hollywood fare. And it was entertaining trying to identify the various actors who have made appearances in other shows that I've watched. I recognised Amy's weird dad on Everybody loves Raymond, or an actress who appeared on Arrested Development, and then there was environmentalist Ed Bageley Jr. Basically, it was a gathering of some stellar but not prominent actors laughing at the system that is Hollywood. And how, no matter how important the actors think themselves to be, especially while they are winning accolades and rave reviews in the Oscar circuit, they are still bit actors playing a small thankless part in the whole process. No one is indispensable.
I watched it with Jeremy, who had the habit of correcting my English at random points of our night-long conversation. But it was good fun. We went to Father Flanagan's for dinner. I was quite sad to hear that it was closing down on April 21, so I wanted to go one last time as a last Hurrah. Some nice times were spent here. I remember them well. But all good things must come to an end.
What started out to be a really bad film which the actors had roles in snowballed into the supposed movie of the year. It's quite funny, really. Quite a refreshing change from the usual Hollywood fare. And it was entertaining trying to identify the various actors who have made appearances in other shows that I've watched. I recognised Amy's weird dad on Everybody loves Raymond, or an actress who appeared on Arrested Development, and then there was environmentalist Ed Bageley Jr. Basically, it was a gathering of some stellar but not prominent actors laughing at the system that is Hollywood. And how, no matter how important the actors think themselves to be, especially while they are winning accolades and rave reviews in the Oscar circuit, they are still bit actors playing a small thankless part in the whole process. No one is indispensable.
I watched it with Jeremy, who had the habit of correcting my English at random points of our night-long conversation. But it was good fun. We went to Father Flanagan's for dinner. I was quite sad to hear that it was closing down on April 21, so I wanted to go one last time as a last Hurrah. Some nice times were spent here. I remember them well. But all good things must come to an end.
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
More Morocco
 |
| Morocco |
Here are more pictures, courtesy of dearest Kris! The first one was just a teaser!!!! Morocco is really exotic. Every time you turn around, there's a Kodak moment=)
Sunday, April 01, 2007
My Lovely Holiday
Back... It had been the best best trip... I saw the struggling developing world that is Morocco, and then I returned to the Land of our Imperial colonial masters... haha. I like to think that I ran back into the arms of civilisation with a blast of relief. But of course, that makes me sound utterly spoilt. Hmmm.
Morocco was great. For 8 days anyway. Anymore and I would have to kill one of the stray men who yelled out "Konichiwa" or "Kombawa" to us. And it wasn't that they were being polite. They were just teasing a reply out you. For two days we ignored the more than 40 catcalls we got per day. Then, we thought we came up with a good retort: "Je ne suis pa Japonais" (I am not Japanese!)This followed with a "Korean? Chinois? Americain?" Then after that, we learnt that silence was the best medicine. But we still got the occasional "Racist?" ??!!!
And then there were the hamsup men. HAMSUP MEN WHO TOUCHED US ANYWAY AND AT ANY CHANCE THEY COULD!!! I have been caressed, stroked, hugged, nicknamed, and had beard bristling against my cheek at every opportunity!!! Maybe I'm exaggerating a little bit, but being Chinese and travelling with another girl is a surefire way to encourage these young Moroccan guys. Hmmph!!!
But you know what, amidst all that inconvenience that is horny Moroccan men, I had a fab time in Morocco. I travelled to lesser trekked parts of Marrakesh with dear Kris, like the Jewish area and the tanneries, and came back unscathed and somewhat tougher. There were slightly nervewrecking moments, like when we were surrounded by guys demanding money for the tanneries. Or at the Jewish area, where we did not know where we were going and we kept getting this weird guy following us.
Whatever it was, these little rough escapades were what made Morocco exciting. You never know what the day will bring. And I think I learnt from Kris the art of standing up for oneself. (That was how I learnt how to yell at the guy at the lift today... the one who called E* bitch for no reason whatsoever)
Kris was also lovely company. I think the company is always the most important. If conversation is shitty, or if you are having a fight with the person you are travelling with, u ain't going to have a ball of a time.
And I can never forget the Sahara, with its sweeping sand dunes. The shadows playing against the smooth sand. When you walk on it, it's like destroying something that was really beautiful. Even if you know the dunes are temporal.
And how beautiful the Djenna el Fena looked from above in the roof top terrace of a café. How the colours change within the hour. And how the drums sound as people swarmed to the square in droves. And then the smoke swirls from above the food stalls as people mill around. And then all the lights start blinking and flaring. And the ever steady beat of the drum was like the rousing heart beat of a sole organism. Cliché I know.
Then to UK I went. I was very relieved to be part of a more civil society once more, a place where I won’t get harassed every 30 seconds.
I had quite a bit of relaxing me-time in UK. Time to think. Time to ponder. Time to just appreciate my surroundings. Things I haven’t done for some time. And immediately, Ecclesiastes comes to mind=) In UK, this time round, it was good to be with my friends, who were really hospitable and who were there for me. There were quite a few ‘first’ experiences too. Here are some of the highlights. Most of them are food highlights:
1. Carluccio’s
We went to Carluccio’s – This delightful Italian restaurant near Oxford Circus. Set up by some celebrity chef, it serves light Italian fare with a slight twist. I had this penne with fried spinach balls and done aglio olio. I can’t stop thinking about it. The mushroom soup was done as a clear soup with huge chunks of bacon and mushroom swirling in it, with a rich thick foccacia on the side. Yum… … There was a Jamie Oliver quality to this restaurant. It was light fare, nothing to pompous or fancy. Comfort food.
2. Jazz performance
I went to Kevin’s Jazz performance at the Royal College of Art café. This is what being an undergrad is like in UK!!! Kevin’s in this jazz band that performs regularly at such venues to undergraduates. It was fun to be part of the younger crowd again, and to see how their undergrads live life in London. I like the scene here. Made me feel young again, especially when everyone got up and started to dance at the end. It was very difficult to dance to some of the music, but they all just bobbed up and down on the spot! Hats off to them for their spontaneity and enthusiasm man… Kristin was telling me about how they used to hang out in US. And this reminded her so much of her experience there. Sometimes I wish I knew or understood her experience in US more.
3. Cambridge
I went to Cambridge by myself. It didn’t have the best weather, but it made me feel so relaxed and at ease. I haven’t felt like that in the longest time… I went to a few of the colleges, walked around Lion’s Yard, walked up and down a few times, had the best pecan tart at a popular patisserie… I had a blast=)
4. Kobe Jones!!!
I went to Kobe Jones, a Jap Fusion restaurant. When Kevin was waxing lyrical about it, I didn’t know what to make of it. It wasn’t in Kristin’s Zagat guide because it just opened a few months ago. But after going there, I have discovered a whole new category of cuisine… honestly. It’s opened my eyes in more ways than one.. haha. The food is awesome. I didn’t know that such things could be done to Japanese food!!! And then I really started to understand what it meant to DINE IN LONDON. Dining in London is a holistic experience. It’s not just about the food. The ambience, the service, the conversation and the alcohol…. They all make up parts of what good entertainment is. And London is the place to go. I couldn’t think of a single place in Singapore that even bears a slight resemblance to the experience I had there. Try the “Number 1 Special”($4.50) when you get there people. It sounds really dubious, but you won’t regret it. Kevin, you officially have good taste in my book!
5. Plays
I watched 2 plays – Woman in Black and Boeing Boeing. I REALLY REALLY LOVED THE FIRST ONE. It was something I’ve always heard about it and I have been dying to check it out since Mr Perry talked about it in our lit class! Teachers can really plant seeds into students’ minds. I had been carrying this with me the last 7 years. And it has lived to its expectations. I never really thought I could be scared and freaked by something that is playing out live.
BOEING BOEING was good too. Light-hearted but a little draggy at some parts.
6. Yauatcha
But the highlight of the night has to be Yauatcha. It’s this high-end place which serves good fancy dim sum (catered to ang mohs of course) It was set up by Allan Yau, the man behind wagamama and hakkasan. I was won over by their ostrich dumplings, crispy Mongolian lamb, and venison puffs (which taste and look like char siew puffs). Upon entering, you realize that it has elements of a typical Chinese restaurant. It’s very tongue in cheek. There is your requisite aquarium, but with fancy fish instead of fish to be served as food. There is also the typical Chinese peonies/flowers by the side of the cashier. But they are done up in a stylistic manner.
And that’s where the similarities end. This is high end London fare for you. It’s like the supposed latest place to be seen. I personally don’t go to such places, but I must say that the food really impressed. Plus, you can tell that care and attention has been given to the smallest details, from the black marble of the washrooms and the terraced sinks, to the stylish faux cheongsams that the waitresses wear.
Morocco was great. For 8 days anyway. Anymore and I would have to kill one of the stray men who yelled out "Konichiwa" or "Kombawa" to us. And it wasn't that they were being polite. They were just teasing a reply out you. For two days we ignored the more than 40 catcalls we got per day. Then, we thought we came up with a good retort: "Je ne suis pa Japonais" (I am not Japanese!)This followed with a "Korean? Chinois? Americain?" Then after that, we learnt that silence was the best medicine. But we still got the occasional "Racist?" ??!!!
And then there were the hamsup men. HAMSUP MEN WHO TOUCHED US ANYWAY AND AT ANY CHANCE THEY COULD!!! I have been caressed, stroked, hugged, nicknamed, and had beard bristling against my cheek at every opportunity!!! Maybe I'm exaggerating a little bit, but being Chinese and travelling with another girl is a surefire way to encourage these young Moroccan guys. Hmmph!!!
But you know what, amidst all that inconvenience that is horny Moroccan men, I had a fab time in Morocco. I travelled to lesser trekked parts of Marrakesh with dear Kris, like the Jewish area and the tanneries, and came back unscathed and somewhat tougher. There were slightly nervewrecking moments, like when we were surrounded by guys demanding money for the tanneries. Or at the Jewish area, where we did not know where we were going and we kept getting this weird guy following us.
Whatever it was, these little rough escapades were what made Morocco exciting. You never know what the day will bring. And I think I learnt from Kris the art of standing up for oneself. (That was how I learnt how to yell at the guy at the lift today... the one who called E* bitch for no reason whatsoever)
Kris was also lovely company. I think the company is always the most important. If conversation is shitty, or if you are having a fight with the person you are travelling with, u ain't going to have a ball of a time.
And I can never forget the Sahara, with its sweeping sand dunes. The shadows playing against the smooth sand. When you walk on it, it's like destroying something that was really beautiful. Even if you know the dunes are temporal.
And how beautiful the Djenna el Fena looked from above in the roof top terrace of a café. How the colours change within the hour. And how the drums sound as people swarmed to the square in droves. And then the smoke swirls from above the food stalls as people mill around. And then all the lights start blinking and flaring. And the ever steady beat of the drum was like the rousing heart beat of a sole organism. Cliché I know.
Then to UK I went. I was very relieved to be part of a more civil society once more, a place where I won’t get harassed every 30 seconds.
I had quite a bit of relaxing me-time in UK. Time to think. Time to ponder. Time to just appreciate my surroundings. Things I haven’t done for some time. And immediately, Ecclesiastes comes to mind=) In UK, this time round, it was good to be with my friends, who were really hospitable and who were there for me. There were quite a few ‘first’ experiences too. Here are some of the highlights. Most of them are food highlights:
1. Carluccio’s
We went to Carluccio’s – This delightful Italian restaurant near Oxford Circus. Set up by some celebrity chef, it serves light Italian fare with a slight twist. I had this penne with fried spinach balls and done aglio olio. I can’t stop thinking about it. The mushroom soup was done as a clear soup with huge chunks of bacon and mushroom swirling in it, with a rich thick foccacia on the side. Yum… … There was a Jamie Oliver quality to this restaurant. It was light fare, nothing to pompous or fancy. Comfort food.
2. Jazz performance
I went to Kevin’s Jazz performance at the Royal College of Art café. This is what being an undergrad is like in UK!!! Kevin’s in this jazz band that performs regularly at such venues to undergraduates. It was fun to be part of the younger crowd again, and to see how their undergrads live life in London. I like the scene here. Made me feel young again, especially when everyone got up and started to dance at the end. It was very difficult to dance to some of the music, but they all just bobbed up and down on the spot! Hats off to them for their spontaneity and enthusiasm man… Kristin was telling me about how they used to hang out in US. And this reminded her so much of her experience there. Sometimes I wish I knew or understood her experience in US more.
3. Cambridge
I went to Cambridge by myself. It didn’t have the best weather, but it made me feel so relaxed and at ease. I haven’t felt like that in the longest time… I went to a few of the colleges, walked around Lion’s Yard, walked up and down a few times, had the best pecan tart at a popular patisserie… I had a blast=)
4. Kobe Jones!!!
I went to Kobe Jones, a Jap Fusion restaurant. When Kevin was waxing lyrical about it, I didn’t know what to make of it. It wasn’t in Kristin’s Zagat guide because it just opened a few months ago. But after going there, I have discovered a whole new category of cuisine… honestly. It’s opened my eyes in more ways than one.. haha. The food is awesome. I didn’t know that such things could be done to Japanese food!!! And then I really started to understand what it meant to DINE IN LONDON. Dining in London is a holistic experience. It’s not just about the food. The ambience, the service, the conversation and the alcohol…. They all make up parts of what good entertainment is. And London is the place to go. I couldn’t think of a single place in Singapore that even bears a slight resemblance to the experience I had there. Try the “Number 1 Special”($4.50) when you get there people. It sounds really dubious, but you won’t regret it. Kevin, you officially have good taste in my book!
5. Plays
I watched 2 plays – Woman in Black and Boeing Boeing. I REALLY REALLY LOVED THE FIRST ONE. It was something I’ve always heard about it and I have been dying to check it out since Mr Perry talked about it in our lit class! Teachers can really plant seeds into students’ minds. I had been carrying this with me the last 7 years. And it has lived to its expectations. I never really thought I could be scared and freaked by something that is playing out live.
BOEING BOEING was good too. Light-hearted but a little draggy at some parts.
6. Yauatcha
But the highlight of the night has to be Yauatcha. It’s this high-end place which serves good fancy dim sum (catered to ang mohs of course) It was set up by Allan Yau, the man behind wagamama and hakkasan. I was won over by their ostrich dumplings, crispy Mongolian lamb, and venison puffs (which taste and look like char siew puffs). Upon entering, you realize that it has elements of a typical Chinese restaurant. It’s very tongue in cheek. There is your requisite aquarium, but with fancy fish instead of fish to be served as food. There is also the typical Chinese peonies/flowers by the side of the cashier. But they are done up in a stylistic manner.
And that’s where the similarities end. This is high end London fare for you. It’s like the supposed latest place to be seen. I personally don’t go to such places, but I must say that the food really impressed. Plus, you can tell that care and attention has been given to the smallest details, from the black marble of the washrooms and the terraced sinks, to the stylish faux cheongsams that the waitresses wear.
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Sunday, February 18, 2007
Thursday, February 15, 2007
blah
I'm feeling really really down. I think it's the fact that when I look around, everyone is moving on as the years go on. Everyone is moving onto the different phases of life - settling down, growing in their ministries, building families, etc. And there's always some improvement or some upgrade in their lives when we meet up. I look back and it's only been a few years since I entered into university, but already so many things have happened.
But I find myself reaching some plateau. I'm not moving in. I'm stuck in traction. Maybe it's the CNY blues, the fact that I have more free time on my hands this period is probably not a good thing. I don't want to live only for the present. I want to live for a tomorrow. And I like to think that the next day is painted with hope. But it never ever is.
Haha, and frivolous it may seem, surfing friendster.com is also not a good thing. I see the lives of my friends constantly changing. New updates all the time.
When I meet friends, they always ask, "any updates? what's new?" And I always shrug the shoulders: "Same old, nothing has changed." And at that moment, I always feel a sense of loss and defeatism.
Yes, I'm feeling very defeated. Stuck. And I don't know what to do about it. I don't feel God is helping me very much.
I want to move on.
But I find myself reaching some plateau. I'm not moving in. I'm stuck in traction. Maybe it's the CNY blues, the fact that I have more free time on my hands this period is probably not a good thing. I don't want to live only for the present. I want to live for a tomorrow. And I like to think that the next day is painted with hope. But it never ever is.
Haha, and frivolous it may seem, surfing friendster.com is also not a good thing. I see the lives of my friends constantly changing. New updates all the time.
When I meet friends, they always ask, "any updates? what's new?" And I always shrug the shoulders: "Same old, nothing has changed." And at that moment, I always feel a sense of loss and defeatism.
Yes, I'm feeling very defeated. Stuck. And I don't know what to do about it. I don't feel God is helping me very much.
I want to move on.
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
My heart does beat a little faster when I think about this. But maybe I'm just setting myself up for raw disappointment again? Maybe I'm presenting a biased view of the facts?
I should be taking charge of my own life, instead of waiting ardently at the benches for my train to come.
But I don't dare. I'm too proud.
I should be taking charge of my own life, instead of waiting ardently at the benches for my train to come.
But I don't dare. I'm too proud.
Dumb for days
Yes, I am officially dumb. I can't talk. I can only whisper... I can't even croak.
As a result, I can't speak to clients. Joleen, my secretary, has to talk to them on the phone for me, while I sadly type out my response. She then reads out my response to the sympathetic client/solicitor at the other end of the line. I never felt so helpless and reliant on others since I was a kid.
I can't even order food... I can't order anything that requires stating the item that I need. So that means no coffee for me, nothing that I can't order by pointing to.
I get laughs and amused smiles when I whisper "I have no voice" to the person who is valiantly trying to converse with me. And when they do try to talk to me, all of them do it with soft inaudible tones too. I think they are influenced by my whispering. Honestly.
And I can't talk in certain settings because it's too loud to whisper. I can't plan lunch appointments because no one is going to want to talk to someone who can't talk back! Arrghh.
But I also see the nice caring sides of people. Of the random people who rally around offering me pipagao or suggest remedies to salve the throat. Of the kind pupil who passed me a box of Chinese lozenges, to the good friend who retrieved a whole jar of honey left from a Christmas gift for my own use.
I want my voice back!!! Grrrr....
(This week, I'll have a shot at being dumb AND being blind since I'm going for LASIK on thursday and Friday... pray for me!!!)
As a result, I can't speak to clients. Joleen, my secretary, has to talk to them on the phone for me, while I sadly type out my response. She then reads out my response to the sympathetic client/solicitor at the other end of the line. I never felt so helpless and reliant on others since I was a kid.
I can't even order food... I can't order anything that requires stating the item that I need. So that means no coffee for me, nothing that I can't order by pointing to.
I get laughs and amused smiles when I whisper "I have no voice" to the person who is valiantly trying to converse with me. And when they do try to talk to me, all of them do it with soft inaudible tones too. I think they are influenced by my whispering. Honestly.
And I can't talk in certain settings because it's too loud to whisper. I can't plan lunch appointments because no one is going to want to talk to someone who can't talk back! Arrghh.
But I also see the nice caring sides of people. Of the random people who rally around offering me pipagao or suggest remedies to salve the throat. Of the kind pupil who passed me a box of Chinese lozenges, to the good friend who retrieved a whole jar of honey left from a Christmas gift for my own use.
I want my voice back!!! Grrrr....
(This week, I'll have a shot at being dumb AND being blind since I'm going for LASIK on thursday and Friday... pray for me!!!)
Friday, February 02, 2007
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